Although there have been conversations within and between PHS Parents’ Club, Feminism Club and the community in regards to changing the Senior Tea and Senior BBQ, the events set for May 3 will remain the same this year.
The Tea will be held at a private home from 2-4 p.m. and the BBQ will be held at Temescal Regional Park from 12-2 p.m. Admission is $30 per attendee, but scholarships may also be requested.
The largely mother-daughter Tea originated in the 1960s and the father-son BBQ in 2006.
Within Parents’ Club, the sophomore class representatives plan the BBQ and the junior class representatives plan the Tea.
In March, Feminism Club President junior Anna Morris and Vice President senior Amanda Champion met with Parents’ Club President Katie Korotzer and Vice President Mary Ashford to discuss concerns with the two events.
“Having two events definitely reinforces gender stereotypes,” Morris said. “It also makes it uncomfortable for nontraditional families and people with different situations which is pretty common now in this generation.”
Another concern, Champion said, is the issue of gender itself.
“If someone doesn’t identify as male or female or identified as gender queer or transgender, it could lead to problems just because [the events] are separated by gender,” Champion said.
Morris and Champion said that they proposed combining the Tea and BBQ into one event, or keeping the two events separate, but then allowing students and guests a choice.
Throughout the year, the Parents’ Club has been discussing similar concerns to those voiced by Morris and Champion voiced, Korotzer said.
Logistically, splitting the celebration into two events makes it more manageable. She said that another obstacle to implementing change is resistance within the club and community at large.
“Some people really value that mother-daughter [and father-son] aspect and they feel very sad that it could go away. Other people are like, ‘Sure, if we need to change it, let’s change it,’” Korotzer said. “Because we are a small community and we try to value what everyone has to say, we’re trying to figure out a way to compromise.”
One change that they have made this year is the wording of the invitations.
For example on the Tea invitation, it first states that “All PHS and MHS Senior Girls are cordially invited with all Mothers Of Seniors* to the Senior Tea.” The asterisk leads to a note that states “Significant People other than Mothers are welcome.”
“If they wanted to [invite a male guest] they could; the person would feel welcome when the got to the event, but the thing is when the invitation doesn’t make it seem that way, it’s a barrier,” Korotzer said. “It actually was really hard to make that one little change because the Parents’ Club isn’t just one kind of person.”
Korotzer said she has spoken with one of the members within Parents Club who is holding on tightly to the mother-daughter idea. She acknowledged the concept as a “lovely idea,” but said that having the girls attend a tea and the boys attend a BBQ can give the impression of intentionally setting girls and boys on separate paths.
“It’s mainly just because when you say ‘tea’ you think dress up, and when you say ‘BBQ’ it sounds fun, active and casual,” Korotzer said. “It’s just not a great idea for us to continue to try to put girls in one slot and boys in another.”
After this year’s Tea and BBQ, Korotzer said they will survey attendees about their opinions on the events.
Champion said that Feminism Club has not discussed anything like starting a petition because they are not looking to work against the Parents’ Club.
“They are already aware of the issues, which is something that’s great to hear about, and they’re trying to make change also,” Champion said. “We are really looking forward to working together with them and hearing all their different opinions about it rather than going against them and trying to boycott the event.”
Having a community that is inclusive rather than exclusive is really important, Morris said.
“Piedmont and being in the Bay Area is pretty progressive, but I think there are some traditions that people get too attached to,” Morris said.
Despite resistance from some community members, others favor sticking with tradition. Senior Franklin Johnson said he does not see a problem with keeping the events separate.
“I don’t think the events were intended to put women in a certain group or to put men in a certain group. It was just to have fun and have a final senior event where people can commune for the last time,” Johnson said. “ I can see how it can make people offended, and they don’t have to go.”
Korotzer said that they will continue discuss possible changes to the Tea and BBQ, and they are looking forward to reviewing the survey results.
“We’re just really at a loss because we want to honor tradition, yet we want to move with the times,” Korotzer said. “We don’t want to make anyone feel bad at something that’s supposed to make them feel so happy.”
