Thus, college does make lemmings of us all. Or most of us. In bewitched mobs of astounding numbers, we blindly follow our academic ambition off a cliff, choosing to brave a sea of anxiety and standardized tests rather than face the unbeaten path.

Our tiny rodent brains can’t help it; we’re told that this is the country of opportunity and that college education is the first step. We know that every time we take the SAT or buy College Board books, every time we pay through the nose for tutors and college counselors, it solidifies the iron grip college applications have on our lives and the lives of future students. But we do it anyway, because if we don’t, we can bet our tails that someone else will.

It’s yet another tragedy of the commons, the ultimate student’s dilemma, and, sadly for the masses, most of us take the easy way out.

The ironic part, if we’ve learned anything from answering the soul-searching, psyche-probing questions in the college applications, is that the easy way out is really hard. Applications take blood, sweat and time. And we do a lot of them. According to the New York Times, 16.5 percent of seniors apply to 11 to 20 colleges. That’s a heavy dose for an elephant, let alone a lemming.

If it weren’t for vanity, most of us would go the community college route, transfer to a UC and get a great degree. But in the end, that’s what it’s all about: pride. And not the good kind. The kind that makes us battle through an argument when we know we’re wrong. The kind in Greek tragedies. The kind that forced Tim O’Brien to ship off to Vietnam against his throbbing, protesting conscience.

We deny that it’s a problem. It’s just the way it is, we tell ourselves. Sure, it’s out of control but it could be worse. We’re doing what we need to do. We rationalize, rationalize, rationalize, ignoring the inevitable truth: the problem is us.

So unless we’re waging our own Vietnam against the education system, we need to cut the whining. The only thing worse than mind-numbing college applications are the ear-numbing complaints from the perpetrators. From us. Our collective competitive hysteria is fueling the College Board’s power, and every attempt to get a leg-up on our classmates is a vote for them to take further
advantage of us. As much as we hate to admit it, our egos are the secret ingredient to the disgusting, murky stew that is the college application process. We’ve become our own worst enemy.

As long as we continue to play into the College Board’s hand, the right thing to do is to keep our furry heads down and follow our peers off of the cliff that we’ve created.