All eyes turn towards senior Benjamin Ring, and the absence of music from saxophones, trumpets, trombones, and bass create a silence louder than any of the instruments combined. After being subjected to criticism from a professional jazz musician as the eyes of his peers remain fixed on him, Ring’s drumsticks almost slip from his hands and impulsive ideas flash through his mind about the possibility of quitting music forever.

But he doesn’t do that. Instead, Ring works even harder, practicing drumming fervently with the relentless desire to improve. However difficult it may be to hear, he knows that taking criticisms is the strongest way to refine his skills.

“I loved the movie ‘Whiplash,’ not only because it’s about drumming, but because of the line the coach says: ‘There are no two words in the English language more harmful than ‘good job,’’” Ring said. “I have found that true in my own life. My failures have pushed me to grow to be a better musician and person.”

However, for many students today, failure can be a crippling reality, especially as parents and other authority figures promote the goals of a culture that measures success through external means, such as grades or income.

According to social psychology teacher Anne Aldridge-Peacock, the pressure that students feel to succeed in these standards, whether it’s from their peers, their parents, or themselves, can prevent them from finding joy in their work.

“While it’s easy to follow these external standards of success, I see success as how much we have grown and the risks we’re taking,” Aldridge-Peacock said. “I think students see success this way too, but find themselves in a double-bind where they can’t be successful if they’re not also fulfilling the traditional measures of success.”

One of the biggest influences in this issue is the role parents play, especially in the wake of a new phenomenon called helicopter parenting.

Because trends are shifting so that parents are having fewer children and after more education, the stakes are much higher for individuals, said writer and educator Jessica Lahey. Because of this pressure, parents are going to more extreme measures to ensure their child’s success.

“Parents are trying to do the best for their kids, because they want them to be successful and happy,” Lahey said. “But this often results in parents overstepping boundaries to solve their child’s problems for them.”

While these tactics may help students succeed through standard means of measuring success, they do little to ensure success in the long-run, said Lahey.

“Directive parents are ones who step into their child’s life and act as their frontal lobe, the center of the brain in charge of organization and decision-making,” Lahey said. “The students in turn get little practice with making their own decisions and working through frustration or failure.”

In Piedmont, and in communities throughout the world, students feel pressure from their parents to do well in school.  According to the 2014 Challenge Success survey, students reported an average score of 3.13 when asked how important it is to their parents to be the best at everything, do well compared to others, and worry about getting bad grades.  The questions were measured on a scale of one to five, with one signifying not at all important and five signifying very important. Lahey said that when working as a middle school teacher, she started noticing her students growing increasingly anxious, disinterested, and unaccountable.

“Students would come to me at the beginning of middle school, filled with excitement and energy to learn,” Lahey said. “After a year or two, the point of learning became the points and the grades.”

The disengagement from learning has been largely caused by extrinsic motivators, such as grades or bribes as an attempt to guide students to developing a good work ethic. However, extrinsic motivators do little to inspire students as compared to intrinsic motivators, Lahey said.

“Intrinsic motivators — the ambition that comes from within — is what leads students to be personally engaged and creative,” Lahey said.

Senior Jackson Parker noticed the strong effects of intrinsic motivators when working as an assistant coach to the U-14 girls’ soccer team.

“I measured our success by watching the rate at which everyone was working and how well the team was working as a whole,” Parker said. “The team was very successful because each player was highly self-motivated and regardless of wins or losses, we would have a constructive talk to go over what the players did well and what they needed to work on.”

Lahey said that autonomy-supportive parents foster curiosity and engagement, key aspects of intrinsic motivation, because they allow children the space and independence to solve problems while still providing support and assistance.

Junior Hanna Marcus said that she has a strong bond with her mom, who gives her freedom while still supporting her and caring about her well-being.

“I have a good relationship with my mom because she’s there for me whenever I have an issue, no matter what it’s about,” Marcus said. “She also supports me without directing me too much. If she was too involved, I wouldn’t be as self-driven as I am today.”

Ring also said he has a strong relationship with his parents because they support his goal of pursuing music as a career.

“I definitely had to convince my parents that this was a good idea, because they want me to be successful and secure in my life, something that isn’t guaranteed with jazz drumming,” Ring said. “It has been hard for them, but they realized that I’ve been putting in a lot of work and time into this. It’s what makes me happy.”