“Easy, breezy, beautiful.”

A slogan to describe CoverGirl beauty products, or junior Graham Dean’s unmistakable hair?

“Graham’s flowing locks of wonder mystify everyone who sees his gorgeous mane,” sophomore Chris Machle said. “In his own words, his hair has ‘mad flow.’”

Dean considers his hair an important aspect of his identity, despite the fact that it often gets in his face.

“My ears get sunburned if my hair does not protect them from harmful UV rays,” Dean said. “Also, chicks dig the flow.”

In one word, junior Ryan Siu would describe Dean’s hair as luscious.

“His luscious hair makes him g-swag,” junior Ryan Siu said. “It’s a trademark.”

Junior Sarah Ching said that his hair is the easiest thing for people to identify him by and that it reflect his personality.

“He’s very carefree,” Ching said. “He’s very relaxed and nonchalant, and his hair reflects that.”

History teacher Mark Cowherd agrees that Dean is relatively laid back, but thinks that his hair looks out of control.

“He seems pretty calm, but his hair is not,” Cowherd said. “His nickname was Einstein last year in class, mostly because of his academics. But it’s more fitting now because he has a wild Einstein ’do also.”

Over winter break, juniors Maddie Baum, Emily Kelleher, and Elizabeth Sweeney convinced Dean to let them straighten his hair. Sweeney said that it took them about 45 minutes to complete the process.

“His crazy thick curls are impossible to tame,” Sweeney said. “He ended up washing it out the moment he got home because he was embarrassed.”

Dean said that his straightened hair was pretty gnarly looking and definitely not something he would keep.

“I also remember him secretly loving the feeling of knot free hair. He kept stroking his hair over and over,” Sweeney said.

Despite this one-time makeover, Dean usually styles his hair a different way. He offered to share his top-secret styling methods exclusively with TPH.

“If you have to know, I don’t do anything to it,” Dean said. “You have to let a wild stallion run free.”

Dean claims that his hair does not slow him down when running cross-country or track, which reinforces Machle’s suspicion that his speed lies in his hair.

“His cross-country times are inversely proportional to his hair length,” Machle said. “The longer his hair, the faster his time.”

Machle said that Dean’s hair is his source of strength. If he were to get a major haircut, his running career would be over.

“His soul would wither away and die, as would his running ability,” Machle said. “His hair is deeply rooted in his existence.”

However, despite his “mad flow,” Dean is planning to get a haircut soon.

“Like a wolf shedding its coat, I must cut my hair to survive the summer heat,” Dean said.

Although Machle earlier stated that Dean’s hair length affects his running ability, he said that Dean will be fine.

“His ‘haircuts’ still leave him with a good chunk of his mane,” Machle said.